Recognizing Non-Binary People in Our Community

‘Non-binary’ is a common umbrella term for people that don’t fit into society’s gender binary. While there are more identities than just non-binary, male, and female, non-binary is the primary umbrella term for gender identities other than male or female. Examples of more specific non-binary identities include genderqueer, genderfluid, bigender, agender, and many more.

Some societies, like ours, tend to only recognize two genders: male and female. The idea that there are only two genders is known as the ‘gender binary.’ Binary means “having two parts,” in this case male and female. Therefore, ‘non-binary’ describes people whose identities fall between or outside the strict categories of male and female.

To gain more perspectives on being non-binary at Four Rivers, we interviewed two students: 9th grader Evie and 8th grader Ren, about being non-binary at Four Rivers, community acceptance, and how safe they feel as non-binary students.

Non-binary youth often face bullying and deadnaming after coming out. As of 2019, 43% of transgender youth have experienced bullying in school and 29% have been threatened with physical assault in school. Making sure that non-binary students and faculty feel safe must be a priority in the student body. On deadnaming, the act of calling a transgender person by the name given to them at birth, rather than their chosen name, Ren said that they’ve been deadnamed “Constantly,” and that though “for the most part people have been very accepting, [there have] been a few people who have been a bit annoying, like a little fly that's buzzing around you constantly.”

The Four Rivers community has progress to make, not just on deadnaming, but inclusion as a whole. Asked about their experience coming out, Evie said “[Four Rivers] is definitely a very queer school, so I felt comfortable telling teachers, but there was also a big fear of, are teachers going to feel weird around me? Are they going to be constantly worried about misgendering me?”

What really stuck out to Evie was the sense that once they came out to everyone, their conversation with friends and teachers seemed to feel more forced, like everyone was walking on eggshells. “I think people think about [you being non-binary] a lot,” said Evie. “Your conversations feel less casual, and it all feels scripted sometimes.”

Adjusting to someone’s new pronouns can take some time, but putting in the effort while maintaining the same relationship you had with them before they came out can make non-binary people in your life feel more validated in their identity. The best way to recognize non-binary people in our community is to listen to them, not speak for them, and treat them like any other classmate.

Accompanying Artwork, by Evie Bird: