Not a girl

I didn't tell you

because you would never understand

that I hate my body

that I hate my face

and this isn't one of those “teenager things“

I don't think I'm ugly

I think she's beautiful

but

SHE isn't me

her chest isn't mine

her hips tell lies

her feminine eyes

blue and green

they make me feel

like I'm not being seen

“ but you act so feminine “

and I smile so bright

but you know about the

hidden scars that no one likes

and yes I like to be

“ girly “ and “ cute”

but I also want to be

“ manly “ and “ tough “

no I'm not a butch

we know I'm not transgender

but I think we both know

I'm not a girl either